dear internet… love, meg

dear internet,

ahh. here we are again. it’s me, meg, and i’m back with the need to verbally and creatively process life again. but this time, i have 0 expectations.

i started this website as a place to put some of my photography, and watch myself grow. the only thing is, i don’t really use it. i think i’ve written four blog posts since i created this site in 2020. 90% of my photos sit on my external hard drive, unseen, except for the galleries i make for my friends and the few photos i send to my brothers. i’ve gotten better about printing my work, but even then, the books are few and far between, and often for others as gifts instead of for myself.

i think i have a disease of perfectionism. honestly, probably a lot of us do. when i first started this, i was paralyzed by the need for it to be perfect. i would start writing blog posts and then think, “what if a future employer sees this and doesn’t like the way i don’t capitalize anything and decides not to hire me for my future dream job?” or “what if a loose acquaintance sees this and judges me for it, saying ‘who does she think she is' or ‘no one cares’”. part of me still thinks it’s self-centered to put my thoughts and art on the internet and think that anyone will care. but i’ve realized… it’s ok to be self-centered sometimes. after all, it is my life. if these thoughts are important enough to take up space on the notes section of my phone, if my memories and art are important enough to take up digital space on my hard drives and take hours of my life creating, and if the need to create takes up so much of my valuable time, maybe it all belongs somewhere for others to see too.

the real writer of my family is my brother, Brendan. he is currently studying journalism at Columbia (no big deal). i'm not sure if he knows it, but he inspires me often with the way he puts himself into the world. for one, his twitter is hilarious. two, he’s excellent with long form writing. he wrote a piece on the presidential election of 2020 that blew me away. i’m sure you’ll see his work in the New York Times someday.

i don’t think i’ll end up in the Times, but i do hope i leave some kind of legacy. whether that be in photo books, letters to friends, or a blog that my future kids can scroll through one day in whatever version of the internet exists at that point. i think we live in an interesting time. we all have this ability to connect with strangers and friends alike through the internet. we can be as present as we like when it comes to social media. i’m sure i’m not alone when i state that i have a love-hate relationship with social media. whether it’s doom scrolling, or looking at others’ highlight reels, it often brings more time wasting than anything else. but then there are the photos of people i love, and the art that inspires me, and the ability to catch up with people you haven’t talked to in years. we all know the good, bad, and the ugly that comes with all of it. personally, i don’t like being confined to squares and captions, so maybe that’s why the idea of a blog and website is more freeing.

all of this to say, documenting life- through words, photography, whatever it may be, is important to me. i’m amazed every day at how fast it goes. here i am, 1/4 through residency, 4 months into living in Chicago, and i swear it goes faster by the hour.

i’m setting a goal for myself to share more of this with the world. feel free to come along for the ride, or not. i won’t be offended.

i’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes by writer and artist Henry Miller.

to make living itself an art, that is the goal.

it’s been quite lovely chatting. talk soon. enjoy today :)

Love,

Meg


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